Re: Daily Page (Part 20)

Prompt – When all is said and done, what will you need to accomplish in life to be satisfied?  

I have a lot of things that matter to me in my life that I want to accomplish. This includes things with family, friends, and my own career goals.

These are the main things I want to accomplish:

1. I want to become a vet after college and vet school successfully. If this is just working with house pets like dogs, cats, and others like that, I’ll be happy. Ideally, I’ll be working with wildlife such as wolves (I have a large love for them), but that’s a hope that I don’t know if I can fulfill.

2. I want to be with a person who cares about me. For me, I’ve learned that I will be happiest with one person that I can trust entirely in my life. I only need one of these and have no need for a large family. A lot of people stresses me out.

3. I want to have animals in my life. For me, ideally, this is 5 cats and 3 dogs. The dogs would come to work with me since I will be a vet and will be allowed to have them especially if I am at a private clinic someday.

I look forward to achieving a lot someday. These are the ideal things I want to achieve. I don’t mind not having a large house, though I will need a nice yard for the dogs to be able to go outside and play with each other comfortably, but the size of the house doesn’t matter to me. I’m also not someone who plans on human children (my animals will be my kids).

Discussion

What are your goals for your life? Do you want children, pets, a large family? Are you going to have a career path, or stay at home and raise your children?

Re:Daily Page (Part 19)

Prompt – What’s the next big thing you want to accomplish?

One of the most important things to me right now is graduating from College. I’m a sophomore perusing a Biology/Pre-Veterinarian Degree at a public University in my home state. I’m doing this to become a Vet someday to help animals since I’m a huge animal lover and have been since the day I was born.

This career path does a few great things for me:

– It lets me help animals in a way that many people cannot.

– It gives me enough income to sustain myself if I’m on my own and to have my own pets too since I can take them with me to work as well. This is especially true with dogs.

– It allows me to meet other people who care about their animals as well. This is true of other vets, vet techs, and other owners.

– It lets me help people in the final hours with their pets they may have raised for many years. To help an animal in the last hours to pass in peace without any pain is something I will take pride in. This is not because I don’t value life, but because I value comfort in a time that I do understand is stressful.

Now

What’s your dream in life? Is it to raise children, have a certain career, get married? Let me know in the comments whatever this is.

Re: Daily Page (Part 18)

Prompt – Describe a Beautiful View

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen something like this since I was a little kid first seeing the world all those years ago. This has been my dream for a long time, but I’m terrified.

I just moved into my dream home labeled as 3 bedroom 2 bathroom right outside of LA in California. It’s perfect for me and my partner to start our lives together now that Vet School is over for me and they have made connections in the area.

Although I had seen the house before, I had never been in the backyard as it was being fixed last time I was here.

Walking out here for the first time….

I see trees everywhere surrounding the backyard in a forest. The yard itself has high grass filling it along with flowers spread throughout it. Behind that forest is a beautiful hill that leads down to a clean river that I can imagine our future puppy loving to swim in with us.

I’ve been looking forward to this for as long as I can remember. I know we have to get everything moved in and settled with a job for me, at a clinic, before I can do this. I have the job already and just have to move in before it starts.

It’s terrifying but so surreal.

Also

I apologize for not posting last week. I have no excuse, so here is a post today and the normal one tomorrow.

Happy Blogging.

Re: Daily Page (Part 17)

Prompt – What’s the toughest thing you’ve been through lately? How’d you get through it?

I’m a freshman in college who started off with a rough first semester due to my personal life getting in the way. Although there were a lot of reasons for this, the main one was the breakup I suffered back in September. I’m not going to go through the explanation of everything that happened in this one post because I’ve already done that, but I will explain how it impacted me, especially for the months of September, October, and November.

After the breakup, I still clung to my ex as if somehow things were going to work out in the end. We stayed intimate and this wound up destroying me. I still relied on this person as if they still cared when it was obvious that they did not seem to anymore. They had turned off their ability to care for me when I was incapable of doing the same.

I had noticed something was wrong near the beginning of September, but they wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and I had no idea it was my fault. I thought they were sick because they had been recently, but this was not the case.

During those months, I felt alone at first. I got through it due to the help of some of the closest friends I have. This mainly includes the band family that forms at this college during marching season. They will never know how grateful I am for their help in me moving on so I could find someone new to be there.

Re:Daily Page (Part 16)

Prompt – What are you afraid of?

For me, there are many things I’ve always been afraid of. There are the obvious things like heights that I was afraid of as a little kid, the dark when it seems scary, and the spiders that lurked in the old house my mom lived in when I was young. Then, there are the more deep fears that have been rooted in me due to the starting that I had. These include abandonment, betrayal, and loss.

Although the more simple fears that I listed are ones that I’ve grown out of, you don’t grow entirely out of fear. As you get older, the fears that follow you in your nightmares become more deep and complicated.

For me, the deeper fear that haunts me the most is abandonment. The reason for this is mainly the fact that when I was 3, my parents divorced. Once this happened, my mother wasn’t around much after moving back out of my grandparent’s house. I lived with them instead of her most of the time until I was 10.

Also, my father had to move 3 hours away when I was five years old because of wanting a job that could support him and he hoped someday I would be there too.

These things have all given me a problem with being over attached to the few people I get very close to. This is seen with my family members, especially my dad that I’ve always been close to, and the people I date. I get closer to my new partner all the time.

Re:Daily Page (Part 15)

There have been many places I’ve wanted to go to over the last few years. With college and everything else I have to deal with, these places are far off for me to find a way to get to, but I would love to some day be able to visit with someone I love and care about. The first place would be Japan.

This past summer, my high school Japanese teacher, after much irritation from the students a year above me, gave all of us the chance to go to Japan. It made me want to go a whole lot and my name was originally on the list of people, but due to the loss of my father’s job and my mother’s own financial problems.

On this vacation, I’d love to visit the most popular areas of Japan such as Tokyo, Kyoto, Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This would include all of the amazing places people tour in those cities as they are both safe and inspiring to visit and for me, to write about when I get the chance.

I would want this vacation to be with someone I love. For me right now, that’s my new partner of a couple months. Although this trip will be many years later from now, I can see that happening with me and this person because it’s alright to dream right? What is life without having dreams that we try to reach someday?

Re:Daily Page (Part 14)

Prompt – What’s a belief of yours that has changed over time?

For me, the thing that has changed the most has been my outlook on life. I always looked at things negatively and found the worst in everything for many years. Just recently, only a few months ago, I forced myself to look positively on things.

This is a lesson I hope everyone I know learns someday. Life isn’t just the negative parts or the deep depressing thoughts that go along with it.

For me, life is waking up next to the person I love. It’s looking outside and seeing the beautiful weather, even though it’s cold, that shows the snow and what it can show you if you pay attention. It’s walking a long way to get to your favorite restaurant with your significant other because it reminds you of when you admitted your feelings.

Also, it’s the family that is there for you when you need them most, even though it might not be all of them. Even though they’re dysfunctional and unsure of how to make things work, most of the time it manages to work itself out. It’s the days spent with the pets at the house that are so special due to the college life that keeps me from being able to see them as much anymore.

It’s the little things that mean an incredible amount to us. It’s about both sides of everything. It’s knowing how to take the worst parts of life and turn those moments into a lesson that will help you get to where you want to be. It’s about turning the bad into something to get you closer to the good.

Re: Daily Page (Part 12)

Prompt – Write a note to someone you miss.

Dear best friend,

It’s been a long time since I last was able to talk to you. Ever since high school ended, I haven’t known how to contact you again or if you even care if I do or not.

I’ve known you since I was 5 years old. You were the first person outside my family to pay any attention and talk to the quiet kid that was too shy to say anything to anyone else. You were the first person I called a friend and the one my family laughed about knowing that we were going to grow close though I had no idea how much.

We have a crazy history that is too long to put into one small letter. You know that.

I want to rekindle that friendship one day, but I’m moving through life and I’ve changed a lot since the last time we really talked. That was back in freshman or sophomore year of high school. I’m in college now, you have a job and a life now it seems.

Good luck to you in everything and I truly hope that if you ever miss me you have the courage to get ahold of me. You have ways to contact me online and via my phone if you ever wanted to. It’s been a long time friend and I apologize for anything I ever did or said that made you think otherwise.

From

The kid you played hulk with as a little kid

Re: Daily Page (Part 11)

Prompt – And right then, everything became clear. You finally realized…

For me, there’s nothing scarier than being unsure of the future. I’ve always been someone whose terrified of change. It terrifies me knowing that any day something, or someone, important to me might not be there the next day or even hour.

As I talked about in a previous post recently, change doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can mean that your life is finally going in the right direction that you need even if you don’t think you want it.

For me, this realization hit when I fell for someone else. After my last heartache, I expected, and had planned, to get through my first semester then hide by myself over break at the house to avoid anymore problems with them. Little did I know the plans the universe had in store instead.

It set me in a situation where I could either choose to run from something new and let my fear take over, or I could take a chance in the dark on someone new and see where it leads. As my recent posts show, I took that chance, and I have no regrets. We’re doing amazing now and I wouldn’t trade this away as I haven’t been this happy in a long time.

Discussion

  1. What realization hurt the most for you during college, if you went? If you didn’t go to college, did something like this happen for you in high school?

Re: Daily Page (Part 10)

Prompt – If I died today, I’d regret having not….

Ever since me and my current partner started dating little over a month ago, I have felt something different then before. The connection is one that has been impossible to ignore since we met. I tried to ignore it and hadn’t let myself realize it at first, but it did eventually hit me like a train.

Both of us are very broken people who have only known each other since November. We didn’t talk a lot without mutual friends around until this person told me that they really like me. I was terrified when hearing this and didn’t know how to react because of my recent breakup at the end of September.

Although I thought that relationship ending had broken me, I was only partially right. I had so many friends that helped me through the process of getting over the past that it happened quicker then I thought it would. I expected it to take years. Then I found them.

After they admitted how they felt about me, I realized how I was feeling after awhile spending time with just them. Admitting my own feelings was terrifying for me due to my fear of something else going wrong. I am happy I got over that and have no regrets, but things aren’t perfect at all.

With both of us being broken, we have a lot to work through. Both of us are over attached for various reasons. They have never dated before and have felt alone all their lives and I didn’t have the most consistent family compared to most around me and the breakup before had made it worse.

Reading this prompt made me terrified of something this has caused for me. I am able to tell them everything and trust them with, something I refer to as the six layers I have, every part of myself. This includes the depressed, happy, sarcastic, sweet, and awkward sides that I have along with the anger they have yet to see. Even so, I am not able to put those feelings into the words I know they want to hear because they have told me them before many times: “I love you.”

The thought terrifies me about the fact that if something was to happen to me that I would want them to know what they mean to me. I show them every day, but it’s not the same as hearing it spoken out loud and hope I can get past this barrier soon enough.

The last month with them has been one of the best months I’ve had that I can remember and they’ve said things to me that I feel awkward about because of how deep their feelings are along with mine.

I’m looking forward to the continuation of this relationship and hope there’s nothing I have left to regret at the end.

I apologize for the rambling, but this was a stream of consciousness type of response for me this week.

Discussion

  1. What do you feel you’d currently regret if you were to find out you were about to die soon?
  2. How do you feel about mine? I have more but this is the most recent one.