“Golden Hearted”

I don’t know about anyone else’s family, but mine likes to categorize people. They always identify who the calm ones are, the smart ones, and the ones that get along with everyone. This isn’t always a bad thing, but one of them always got me a little annoyed as I grew up. This was when my mother and grandmother would, specifically, refer to me as the brain child, my sister as the vocal one, and my other sister as the “golden hearted” child.

As I grow up, this one continues to offend me for some reason. I don’t necessarily like being considered just the brain child of the family. I’m no smarter than my sisters, I just had more luck when it came to school and for some reason always have. I don’t understand their reasoning.

It got me thinking about certain things:

Why are the ones that wear their emotions on their sleeve the ones considered gold hearted? It’s not like the rest of us don’t care about others. We just don’t like to express that to every person that meets us. We’re more defensive than that about our emotions.

It’s not always those willing to share their emotions that care the most. Remember that.

Think about the people, like me, who stay in the background. We keep our emotions to ourselves in order to protect ourselves and those around us. We don’t want to bother anyone we care about, because we feel our emotions would do that to those we care about.

Even though we might not always show it, we care. We just like to do things in the background. We do the small things for those we care about the most that no one seems to notice. We like staying unnoticed; It helps us to get what we need done without being a problem to others.

I’m not angry at my parents for doing this when I was younger or even now, but it just bothers me sometimes. While she’s showing this on her sleeve to everyone, I’m just helping those I care about by doing the things no one notices. Sometimes that can get really insulting. No one seems to think about that.

I’m sorry this one rambled a little bit, but it’s something that has gotten on my nervous a little bit for a long time now. It’s always made me wonder what my parents really think of me. Whenever I do show emotion, they get confused about the fact that I’m upset about something. Just because I don’t show it, doesn’t mean I’m not feeling emotions like everyone else. In fact, I feel them worse, because I keep them to myself so much.

That’s a curse and blessing at the same time.

Published by: Shade

I'm a recent college graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology that is searching for their way in life. I want to work with animals by helping them in the future.

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