Author: Shade

I’ve been having numerous nightmares over the last several months about losing different people. It’s mostly been between my best friend and my father, but they’ve been incredibly vivid and terrifying to think about when I wake up from them. Even my cat, who’s always in tune with my emotions, will start kneading on me … Continue reading Nightmares

Some mornings I wake up from a nightmare taking several minutes before I become aware. I come to my senses still with a tremor coming from the nightmare as an aggressor. This terror can last for hours or the whole day, but it’s always impossible to make go away. These last few months there’s always … Continue reading Fading

I find the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” to be very discriminatory and problematic in the way it’s phrased. I understand that every person can be beautiful to another person when it comes to attraction in relationships, but there are humans out there are not due to their insides not being … Continue reading What is beauty in people?

Dad, The older I get, the more respect I have for you and what you did to try and protect, and help me, while I was growing up in a way my sisters didn’t have. You made sure never to talk bad about my mother when I was growing up even though she was causing … Continue reading Re: Daily Page – Write a letter to someone you respect and let them know why.  

It’s been a time that my family has been dreading, my grandparents have gotten to the age where they are starting to pass away and it’s happened closer together than I expected. My grandfather on my dad’s side passed away last August and my grandmother on my mom’s side just left us a little over … Continue reading Tribute: My Grandmother

We were 14 years old and had been friends for a couple years. We had so many of our classes together; at one point it was all of them the first year we really knew each other. We spent the freshman year of high school summer with each other. On 4th of July, we went … Continue reading Re: Daily Page – Write a letter to an old friend who you haven’t spoken to in a long time. 

This is incredibly premature because the person is still here, but my best friend has planned her death by physician assisted death. She has decided that is the route she wants to take in less than 4 months if she’s unable to find a way to make her chronic pain bearable and find a reason … Continue reading Re: Daily Page – If you could bring back a loved one who has passed away, and you only have 24 hours, what would you do with your time together?

This week has began terribly for me and my entire family. My grandmother, who we knew was going downhill, passed away early Monday morning. That was awful, but at least we all knew it was coming and got our chance to say goodbye on Sunday night. I was there knowing I would never see her … Continue reading Free Write 3/1/22

I’m constantly living with emotional pain my heart feels like a clogged up drain i can’t get these nightmares to go away it makes each day start out feeling grey i wish i could just not care because all of this is impossible to bear my heart always feels heavy and broken i have to … Continue reading Clogged

Loss is a difficult subject for me right now. I constantly feel a dark cloud floating above me starting a few months ago that seems to either be a warning or preparing me for more darkness yet to come. I thought this year was going to be an improvement over the last 2, but after … Continue reading Re: Daily Page – “Talk about Loss”