What are you most proud of in your life?
Throughout my life, I’ve been taught not to feel pride on a strong level. It was taught to me that being prideful can mean being overconfident and that’s how my dad taught me as I was growing up. Even so, he always told me when he was proud of me, but I never really use the terms that I’m proud of something because of this raising. My dad taught me a lot of lessons, but I think his perception of pride might’ve been different than what he was trying to express. Pride doesn’t have to be this overconfident feeling, it can simply be the way that someone feels after an accomplishment. It can simply be that internal feeling towards yourself after a big goal.
For me, I’m proud of still being alive at this point. There have been many times, especially in my teen years, that I truly didn’t think I would reach adulthood. I had been depressed starting from age 8 and it was at its worst from then until I was about 17. The worst times in that were from 11-15 when I considered ending my life multiple times. I scratched myself with keys that I dug into my skin; It was any method that would give me the feeling I needed without family being able to notice that there was something there. I never acted out at home in those years because I didn’t feel like my family could handle it.
So, yes, it can seem weird to say it, but I’m about to turn 27 in less than two weeks. I feel like the very fact that I’m going to reach full mental maturity is something to be proud of. For me, this definitely wasn’t a given that I would reach this part of my life. I’m, for once, excited to see where the next year brings me because there’s likely to be a lot of change yet again.
For those that helped me get through those years, thank you. Those people know who they are. My best friend that I met online at 11 being the most important..
