I’m Terrified

I moved onto campus August 22nd to start camp that took place the 22nd-28th and the 30th.

I was beyond excited to begin this journey with the person I care about the most and start college for the thing that I’ve been wanting to do since I was a little kid barely old enough to speak. I expected to get here, move in, go to camp, and be able to have new experiences around me that I can spend all my time with.

Well… That is only partially true.

After my family left me alone in that room with all my stuff organized, I got nervous. I thought that was normal so I just went and got ready for camp and kept myself occupied expecting that feeling to go away. It still hasn’t.

Although I’m active in my classes and in band more than I ever have been, my anxiety is getting worse. I have terrifying thoughts about everything that can go wrong whenever I have free time. I’ve spent nights either thinking deeply or spending it with the one person who keeps that anxiety completely away.

Even though spending time with that person helps, I can’t constantly stay with them instead since they’re paying for that apartment and I have a dorm of my own. Beyond that, this person deserves to have their own time to themselves without me around constantly.

In order to make that possible without me having panic/anxiety attacks anymore, I started something last week that I’ve been against for a long time. I started counseling because my college offers free counseling for students that are taking a certain amount of credits.

The hope is for that counseling to help me find other ways to cope with the anxious thoughts instead of just ignoring them and even ways to get them to slowly disappear from my everyday thoughts.


  1. Have you ever had counseling of any kind?
    1. If yes, how did it help you with the problem you were having that led you to receive counseling?
  2. Have you ever had someone close to you go through any type of counseling?

Thanks for reading

Published by: Shade

I'm a recent college graduate with a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology that is searching for their way in life. I want to work with animals by helping them in the future.

Categories Featured4 Comments

4 thoughts on “I’m Terrified”

  1. Hello! Personally I think you’ve taken a very positive move towards dealing with your anxiety. I’m a great believer in therapy and I think all people should do it if they can, whether they perceive themselves to have ‘issues’ or not.

    I saw one for a short while to talk about bereavement and I feel like it really helped me. In fact, I often think about picking it up again following an abusive relationship. Good luck with everything, you deserve to enjoy your University experience.

    1. Thanks friend. I like th3 counselor i have, but ive had to miss a couple sessions. I also have almost lost my best support system.

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