This poem is quite special to me right now. It describes how I’ve been feeling for the past week or so. That’s not a long period of time, but to me it has been the longest week I’ve had in awhile.
The title says what it’s about, but I like giving a little more background before I put out something I write.
The story is simple. Right now there’s a change going on in my life that is driving me a little insane. I haven’t been feeling like myself because of it.
I won’t go into details for awhile, but the poem will give you enough of an idea. After it’s passed and I’m over it, I’ll edit this post and put a ending that explains every detail if anyone wants to know the details.
I hope everyone understands why I can’t post much right now either. It’s hard to write without coming off depressing. Understand that this one will be that way before you read it.
Enjoy it if you can. Thanks for reading.
Loneliness
When I was little
things were very different.
I was a quiet child.
I kept to myself all the time.
I didn’t know to communicate.
To most
that sounds quite sad.
It wasn’t.
Not to me anyway.
I was a loner.
As I grow up,
I notice how things change.
I’m alone a lot still, yes,
but I enjoy
some people’s company.
When people used to leave,
I wouldn’t mind it much.
I was used to being alone.
It was everyday life.
Now,
I get attached.
I cling to those close.
I don’t want to bother them,
but it bothers me
to be away from them.
Recently,
my life started changing.
I only have one close person left.
That person can’t be around much now.
It hurts.
I’m not used to this anymore.
Now, let me explain it more.
I spend my mornings
crying over nightmares.
I spend my afternoon and evenings
thinking about what might go wrong.
I spend my nights
crying myself to sleep again.
I’m someone that can’t cope well.
I know that’s pathetic.
I’m young,
but I’m not a little kid anymore.
I shouldn’t need someone around.
I feel like I went backwards.
When I was younger,
I was independent.
Being alone was simple.
I’m attached now.
I feel like I’m clinging.
As I sit here,
I’m crying inside
because of pain.
Is it normal to feel like that?
Everything should be perfect.
I’m doing well in school.
My partner is being great,
but I feel alone.
That’s how I’m feeling.
However sad that may seem.
How can a person go backwards?
As we grow up,
aren’t we supposed to learn?
Aren’t we supposed to be independent?
Or is that looking at it wrong?
Try something if you read this.
Answer those questions.
Think about them.
Thank you for reading it if you read it all. It’s a personal thing to me that lead into philosophical conversations. Nothing better than that I suppose.
