Before I start..
I’m now in a healthy and happy relationship of a year with a new person and have moved on entirely from what happened here.
This is mainly a reflection of where I don’t want to be at again due to another person’s misunderstanding caused by my own insecurities. If you deal with, at any point, what is talked about in this, get help.
I had been in a relationship for 2.5 years with somebody who I thought was going to last forever. We had, very briefly, joked about the idea of getting engaged to each other in the last 6 months of the relationship. We believed it was going to last, but we changed.
In the last few months, I had become insecure due to moving to college with said partner. We didn’t live together, but spent a majority of our time with each other and it began to cause problems I hadn’t seen. I wasn’t good at taking criticism of the problems on my end and my partner wasn’t good at expressing those needs to me in a way that I could fix.
Near the end, it got to a breaking point where I asked if they wanted to end the relationship. It sounded like they wanted a break and that’s what I thought of it as. It was more than that, but I didn’t want to accept it.
After this relationship ended, I bothered my ex-partner with texts and a note at one point. I’m not proud of those moments and wish them the best at this point. I will never make that mistake with another person to get that low.
While in counseling, I began hurting myself again for the first time in a very long time. I was hurting myself with sharp keys I had because it was all that was available to me. I told my ex-partner and all they had to say was about the fact that if I went too deep near a certain area that it could kill me. They didn’t care that it was eating me apart and threatened to tell my family about the situation if I didn’t stop.
For me, this was a turning point, I brought myself together due to the fear of losing that secret to people I didn’t want hearing it. Counseling, along with the help of a friend who is now my partner, brought me closer to myself again.
Although I’m in a better place now, I do feel like that was one of my lowest points. It basically showed me that the person who I believed would take care of everything for me can’t and that I have to take care of myself. I made sure to be more careful when I wound up with someone again not too long after.
- Has anybody else ever been in a situation that changed their entire view of another person that they loved?
- Has anybody else found counseling one of the things that helped them in a stressful time?