Daily Page – Describe a painful experience in your life.

One of the most painful moments I had during my life was my most recent breakup I had when I was 18. The breakup was with someone I had started dating before my Junior year of high school and we broke up not even a month into my first semester of college.

My partner had asked me out twice before I had agreed during that summer, because I didn’t have feelings for them before during those other times and I didn’t think I was prepared for a relationship again at the time. Also, I really wasn’t ready for it during this second attempt either, but I was trying to get over something and thought I would try again.

When we first started dating, things were going alright and then they graduated (a year ahead of me) at the end of my Junior year. We saw each other every other weekend my senior year of high school when they came by from college. We would go places like the movies or just hang out in the car talking. We weren’t perfect for each other by any means, but I was trying to fill a void that was sitting there for me.

During that last year, in the last few months especially, I would later discover they were telling their best friend at college about the issues they had with our relationship. I wasn’t easy to be with and I was too much for them, but they never told me those things until the relationship fell apart when I realized something was wrong. I was heartbroken finding out that they had been telling someone else our problems instead of working with me to solve them. They said we were done, after a lot of prying, but that they were open to trying later if things were better.

I’m not proud of how I handled the breakup. I bothered them and we were intimate after breaking up a few different times and I had negative coping mechanisms during those first couple months. It is not something I will ever allow to happen again.

I learned a lot from that breakup about myself. I learned more about what I needed in a relationship and the type of person I needed to look for. I also learned about the things I needed to do before I would be able to find the person that I wanted for me.

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