Clogged

I’m constantly living with emotional pain

my heart feels like a clogged up drain

i can’t get these nightmares to go away

it makes each day start out feeling grey

i wish i could just not care

because all of this is impossible to bear

my heart always feels heavy and broken

i have to try and leave my feelings unspoken

i can’t get my best friend off my mind

that takes control i can’t seem to find

they have planned and scheduled their own death

down to the day they take their last breath

there’s a chance they will back out of these plans

but i have to believe 4 months is the end of their lifespan

i try hard to be the best friend i can at this time

but not talking her out of it feels like a crime

i wrote a letter telling her how much i care

to try and clear the air

it has made everything feel final

but my emotions also more primal

i’ve loved her for so many years

thinking of her death i can’t hold back tears

this all feels like a cruel punishment

to deal with this much abandonment

i don’t want to make her feel worse

and want to avoid trying to coerce

i’ll be there for her until the end

because i know she would do the same for me as a friend