I’m constantly living with emotional pain
my heart feels like a clogged up drain
i can’t get these nightmares to go away
it makes each day start out feeling grey
i wish i could just not care
because all of this is impossible to bear
my heart always feels heavy and broken
i have to try and leave my feelings unspoken
i can’t get my best friend off my mind
that takes control i can’t seem to find
they have planned and scheduled their own death
down to the day they take their last breath
there’s a chance they will back out of these plans
but i have to believe 4 months is the end of their lifespan
i try hard to be the best friend i can at this time
but not talking her out of it feels like a crime
i wrote a letter telling her how much i care
to try and clear the air
it has made everything feel final
but my emotions also more primal
i’ve loved her for so many years
thinking of her death i can’t hold back tears
this all feels like a cruel punishment
to deal with this much abandonment
i don’t want to make her feel worse
and want to avoid trying to coerce
i’ll be there for her until the end
because i know she would do the same for me as a friend
