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Tribute: Marc

More than 21 years ago, my mother adopted a little kitten (6 weeks old) named Franc. My dad, although not pleased, was willing to accept a new cat. Little did he know, the next day my mom went back and brought home his littermate Marc.

Marc was a black kitten who just wanted to be pet and fed. He was always mellow and sweet, even if he wasn’t the most playful. The main memories my mother remembers dearly are when she was pregnant with me and he would lay on her and purr. He was looking forward to a family member coming home. He stayed with me forever. When my dad adopted him, after the divorce, he always knew who I was.

The main memories my mother remembers dearly are when she was pregnant with me and he would lay on her and purr. He was looking forward to a family member coming home. He stayed with me forever. When my dad adopted him, after the divorce, he always knew who I was.

When my dad adopted him, after the divorce, he always knew who I was. Not many years after, Marc’s brother Franc died when he suddenly stopped eating and we couldn’t figure out why. Marc was never quite the same cat, but he grew attached to the other cat (my dad adopted 3/5 of the cats after the divorce). Little did we know, Marc would live 14 more years after his brother’s death and for that, I am forever grateful.

Marc eventually would move back in with my mom due to my dad’s inability to move him at such an old age by plane. He lived a great 3 years after my dad moved after losing his job.

In his last week, he developed an enlarged stomach all of a sudden that we couldn’t find an answer for and scheduled a vet appointment. We had no idea at the time, but he would never make it to that appointment.

Marc passed away March 10th a little before 7 am after having what we think was a stroke. My mom was there with him while he had a seizure as she knew this was the end and didn’t have enough time to get him to a vet. My mother called me immediately after so that I could say goodbye in my own way before he was buried. Due to circumstances, I was able to hold him the entire way to where we buried him and cried with my mother.

I have never felt this empty losing an animal before as he was family. All my pets are, but there’s something special about losing the animal that’s been there since before you even were a thought.

RIP Marc. You lived a long and great 21 years and you will be missed. I have no idea if a heaven exists, but if one does, I hope you’re enjoying your time with your brother that you didn’t have for so long. I hope to see you again one day.

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New Schedule – Starting Soon

First

My last day of high school was this past Thursday. This means summer is soon and graduation is even sooner for me. For better or worse, I’m about to have more free time for three months as a break.

Reasons

I haven’t been as good at uploading posts every week as I used to be. I apologize for this, but school and lack of motivation can sometimes impact a person’s ability to get things done. Thank you for the support and comments on my graduation post a couple of weeks ago.

I plan to fix this problem, lack of content, in the near future with a new possible schedule. I am going to hold myself to this over the summer and adapt it when college starts in the fall.

Vacation

This summer, being my last free one, is one I want to remember. That means a vacation, or two, to make it special. I will be gone for a weekend very soon, as well as, two weeks in June. That means for those times I will not be able to upload new posts and this schedule will go into affect after those vacations.

Schedule

The new schedule I mentioned is going to be a very simple one. I have began using a task manager, known as todoist, to remind me to complete each step of the process of writing out blog posts because I have never had a real way to manage it.

The new schedule will involve one required post a week, whether that be an update on a life situation through a journal, or a poem. These posts will be at 10am on Monday mornings (EST). If needed you can translate that into your own time zone.

Any extra posts will be posted on Fridays at 5pm (EST).

Finally

Thank you for understanding. This schedule will be put into effect around June 15th or 22nd. This depends on when exactly my vacation starts as the tickets have not been purchased yet by my family. Thank you for the support and I am looking forward to posting again.

Any requests of prompts or any knowledge of good sets of prompts would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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Question from an 18 year old

This post isn’t meant to be a specific story or anything like that. I’m not sure whether that’s a good idea or not, but this is something that’s on my mind. It’s something that’s been bothering me a lot, especially recently, about my life and the people that are in it.

I know I’m not the only one that’s felt it. This question is more for people that are older than me, but anyone feel free to make comments. Either way, I’m sorry for beginning to ramble first, but this will be a rant. Here it is and thank you if you finish reading it.

Here’s the story:

I’m an 18 year old senior in high school. Due to this, everyone that doesn’t really know me, and sometimes those who do, think that because of my age I don’t know what I’m talking about. This is something that has always frustrated me and probably always will.

They say the older a person is the more experience they have; therefore, the most wisdom they have. Although I agree that the older you get the more experience you have, those experiences can have negative effects too. A person could fall into a habit that could cause them not to have as much wisdom as they could.

I live in a house with my sister (24 years old), my mother, my father, and my step-father. Before anyone asks, my father is living with us due to the loss of his job recently and my mother having a kind enough heart to let him stay with us and help us out while he’s here. All of them think of me differently in those terms.

My father knows that I have more to say than the average 18 year old. I know more than most of them. That’s just the way I was raised: curious, observant, analytic, but still emotional all at the same time.

My mother knows that I’m more intelligent about life than the average 18 year old, but sometimes forgets that I do observe situations. She forgets, and it’s not her fault, that I sometimes have so much I want to say, but I know no one will listen to me except for the people that can’t do anything about it.

My sister and me have a strange relationship. She used to be the closest sibling in the world to me, we were best friends, but things changed. She grew closer to my mother, but of course that’s not a bad thing. I stopped being as close but we were still friends for siblings.

Things have happened recently, they’re a whole post by themselves that I might write soon, that have caused her to be an outcast of my family because of her, sort of, betrayal. That’s the best way I can word it that I can think of. She forgets how observant I am and thinks I don’t notice anything. It angers me.

It made me more angry whenever a person thinks I have nothing important to say because of my age. It angers me when a teacher says that we’re only students and have nothing to tell them or teach them. That isn’t true.

No matter the age of a person, no matter the disabilities they have, we all have a story to share.

I’ve always been a bit ahead of the people my age and that’s why my friends have always been a little older. It’s because the people my age never understood why I was so serious. It was because of being older in wisdom than in body. It can be a curse sometimes.

Thank you for getting through my rant. I might eventually link this to a post about my sister’s situation, but I’m going to wait until it’s resolved. Sorry for ranting for a little, but sometimes it creates the most interesting conversations on twitter when it comes to these stories.

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Re: Full Disclosure- A Person’s Right to their mind

This post is in response to the prompt Full Disclosure.

 

People have their thoughts;

They have their beliefs.

 

I think this is known too;

Everyone has rights.

 

Those rights include:

Privacy, Property, Life.

This means many things.

 

Privacy:

The right they have

to keep their thoughts.

 

Property:

The right they have

to own their earnings.

 

Life:

The right they have

to their existence.

 

Everyone’s job:

The job they have

to give those rights.

 

Who has this right?

The right to

take away that right?

No one.

 

If I could

I wouldn’t take them

from anyone.

I have no right.

 

One day,

A chip was given,

only, for me

for one’s thoughts.

 

I denied.

 

I have no right

to take that.

It’s a person’s

property and privacy.

 

 

 

 

 

Shade Featured, Poetry

Lonely

You know what bothers me?

The ideas people have about me:

my life, my past, who i am.

This is like right now.

 

Everyone thinks I don’t feel;

They think I have no emotions;

What right do most have?

Even ones who claimed to understand..

to know me.

 

It’s not an easy thing:

I know that; taking that time.

 

I do feel;

I especially do now.

I feel lonely; believe it or not.

 

No problem being alone;

I hate feeling like this;

I have no control over myself.

Don’t feel like myself at all..

It makes me afraid.

 

Most of my “friends:” gone.

They ditched me knowingly

or not; I don’t care.

It’s difficult for me

feeling like this; depressed.

 

Very few have stayed;

Some literally; Some in heart.

Grateful or not, it’s hard;

I despise change.

This is a chapter of change.

 

I know others hate change;

Why am i singled out?

My classmates, My family

think I feel nothing;

This is far from the truth.

 

I don’t show my feelings;

You have to look closer;

I’m sorry about that.

I am how I am.

Accept it

or leave; I’ll let you.

 

Every person has feelings;

Remember this.

It might be evil, friendly, or scared.

Everyone has them;

Don’t single people out;

We all can be alone

or feel lonely.

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Last Forever

As time continues to pass

I get more and more afraid of it.

Each and every day/ Whenever I’m with you

I hope for the best.

 

I want us to last forever,

but is that realistic?

I’ve been with people before/ twice now

but never like this/we’re really close.

 

You and me had a burdensome start;

I can never make up for it/I’ll try.

I hope you understand this fact:

I do love you, age or not

I don’t give a damn about that.

But will it last?

 

I’m prone to disaster/I’m learning.

I hurt those I love;

I cause damage to those that care.

 

I fear this every day:

Will it be the last day this lasts?

You tell me I’m safe/that you won’t leave

but what do i trust?

old habits/ new trusted honesty?

 

Habits are hard to break/Fact.

I love you/Fact.

I want to do this:

In order to help us last.

 

You’ve done a lot/you don’t realize.

I hope you understand this…:

I don’t want to hurt you;

I can’t avoid that dreadful fact;

It scares me to no end.

 

Do you love me the same way?

I have a hard past…:

My parents taught me:

……..Be strong/Be Independent/Don’t Rely…..

It’s all i truly know/ All i’ve ever known.

I know you say you do, i’m scared.

I know I trust you, but it hurts.

 

You’re my best friend;

You’re the one I love.

We’re young in age,

but old in our hearts.

I owe you so much/more than i can say.

 

I hope you understand someday

…how much you mean to me../how much you mean..

 

Shade Featured, Prompts

Prized Possession (Writing 101: Day Twenty)

Everyone has something that they keep as a prized possession. It can be a necklace,journal,bracelet, and multiple other types of possessions. Most of these have their own story behind them. It can be a gift from family,friends, or relationship partners. It could be something a person created during their school years, but either way, it’s something a person doesn’t want to be left without. Mine does have a story behind it.

First, I might as well explain where I got my prized possession from in the first place.

When I was a really young kid, 5 years old and in kindergarten, I met someone who wound up being my best friend for a long time. The kid was the only one that would talk to me because I was different than most other kids. I didn’t like saying a lot to other people that I didn’t know.

This kid wound up being my best friend from age 5-8. After that, I moved to a different Elementary School in the district causing us to lose contact for a few years. From 3rd-5th grade I didn’t see my friend at all, but I did miss him. We met up the first day of middle school in an art class; He recognized me almost immediately. We took time to get to know each other again; Even kids change after a couple years.

A few months later, the other friends he had met while I was away, talked to my friend about us dating. They all thought it would be a good thing for both of us and that it would work because of how close we had gotten. The one that was closest to me thought I had feelings for the kid; He was right, but we were really young at that point. 

We wound up agreeing to date, but we were young; It was a very innocent type of relationship, but no one had any problems for quite awhile with it. It wasn’t serious, a 12 and 11 year old, starting to date wouldn’t be. Even so, it lasted for 2 years.

The following year, during 7th grade, I went to my partner’s house more often than I used to. When I was there one day, my partner wound up finding something for me. Even though it was found on the ground, it was something I kept with me. It was the piece off a necklace, a heart-shaped, that I kept.

Of course, without a chain I couldn’t wear it, so I bothered one from my mother for that. I treasured it because we were dating, but we were young; The relationship itself didn’t last. 

For awhile after the break-up, I didn’t want to wear it anymore because of the memories it gave me, but I kept it.

Later on, I realized something. It wasn’t the person that gave it to me that made it special, it was one memory it gave me. The memory of the first person that was my friend.

It reminded me that not everyone in the world was bad. To this day, I wear it because of what it taught me. It’s a symbol for me. A symbol of the friend that I made when I was 5 years old. 

Even though we aren’t very close friends anymore, I’m thankful to the kid that gave me a chance. The kid that gave me a chance to have a friend. 

The kid taught me how to have a friend and how to deal with the feelings I had for the first time. I’m thankful for that still, even though he doesn’t know that. 

That’s why I still wear it and why it’s one of my prized possessions.