I’m struggling….

I used to struggle with life. I wanted to end it when things got hard.

I used to need help getting through each day. I needed comfort from those around me in order to cope with life.

Now, I’m scared of death. I don’t ever want it all to end or get harder.

I can’t see myself living without my partner and family. How do I cope without knowing what happens for us next?

Enough is Enough

I let myself go from the happiness I had some time ago.

At one time I was filled with joy, not unlike a newly young boy.

Lately I have let fear win instead of thinking of what I hold dear.

I just started getting help instead of letting myself just cry out and yelp.

My partner has seen me cry,

but doesn’t know what to do other than pry.

I need better methods to learn to cope to help give myself hope.

Sometimes hope feels far away and work just like a tightened rope.

How do I feel at ease, when sometimes all I want is to freeze?

Domain change

Hello everyone!

Just to give you all an update, my site is now hosted as ShadeStory.com as the primary domain. This is to make the site easier to remember for all of you as well as better representative of the blog as a whole.

Thanks for understanding through all of the changes!

Hunter’s Journey Part 11

Some backstory…

2 years ago, Hunter was stolen from his adoptive mother and adoptive brother by his birth father who wasn’t allowed any visitation due to court order after relinquishing custody.


Luke turns 18 years old today and all he wanted was to have his brother back home with him and his mom. Their dog, Lucky had been depressed since Hunter left and so had their mother.

The cops were still looking for their family member but they only had leads and never were able to find him…until today. The birth father made a mistake by leaving Hunter in the truck by himself.

The man got held up in the store and since it was during the heat of the summer, a woman saw a 13 year old stuck in the car and broke the window in order to rescue him.

“Hey kid, you alright?”

“I feel better now. It was getting hot in that car.”

“What’s your name? We should find your parents.”


Many minutes go by with the woman trying to get the answers out when a cop arrives to see the strange scene since a passerby had called. The officer eventually convinced the boy to admit his name and the situation.

“Son, I’m going to need you to repeat everything that happened. I need to take the full report. You’re safe now.”

“Two years ago, I was kidnapped from my mom. She adopted me.”

“Alright, give us the information and we will check up on it.”

The officer finds all the information in the boy’s case and realizes the horrible past from the case worker that had found them. The mother rushes to the police station that was hours away with her other son Luke and their dog.

“Luke, stay in the car with Lucky.”

She rushes in and takes Hunter home in complete silence in the car. She allows him to go to sleep before saying anything about what had happened.




Re: The Daily Page

Prompt – Describe your mom and your relationship?

My mother is a woman that loves animals, loves helping people, and enjoys her work. She works for a non-profit focused on helping. She doesn’t make a lot of money at her 9-5 but she enjoys it and living with my step-father and sister.

My relationship with my mother hasn’t always been the closest. I wasn’t around her much when I was really young from ages 3-10. Her and my dad had gotten a divorce and she was in a relationship that had nothing to do with us at the time. We lived with our grandparents during this time.

After some more time we moved in with my mother when I was about 10 or 11 years old. After a few years, me and my mother became close around the age of 16 for me. We have gotten along much better throughout life now that I’m 22 and not in the house anymore. It’s a lot less stressful of a relationship now than it was then.


To all the loyal followers,

I am doing an upgrade of the blog throughout the next few days to give the site a refresh and I hope to gain more followers throughout this upgrade. I am making plans for new posts for the page.

I look forward to talking with you all.

Re: Daily Page

Prompt: What’s the toughest conversation you’ve had recently?

I was talking with my partner the other day about my fear of staying at a job I hate for very long. I was talking about being scared of wasting my life at a job I don’t enjoy.

We talked about their fear of the same. They’re going to further education in order to find the career that they want as a professor. I look forward to where they are going and to finding my own path, hopefully soon, that I’m attempting to search for new careers.

This was a scary conversation to have with someone you want to spend your life with. They make it all worth it to search for the right path for me.

Question: What’s the hardest conversation you’ve had with a significant other recently?

Re:The Daily Page

Prompt: What makes you blue?

I have started to feel very depressed about my life recently. I just graduated college and was hoping to find a fullfilling job that would allow me to do the things I want to do. I want a house, pets, and to be able to travel to different states and countries someday. I want to do those things with the person I think I will be with for life.

I just started my first full-time job as a contractor at a big company. It has felt defeating to be spending 40 hours a week doing the same repetitive tasks for a company that doesn’t value what I’m specifically doing. I hope to get into a better position quickly, not just for the pay raise, but to help with my mental health.

I’m 22 and honestly, very scared of what is to come.

Question: What is your advice for me?  

Tribute: Euro



When I was 11 years old, my mother was dating someone she had been with for years who also was our landlord and had allowed us to have a pet for the first time already in our few years old cat Patches.

One night, her boyfriend shows up at the house with a small kitten he had found by a railroad track and asked for advice on what he should do as his family didn’t want the cat. At that moment, this little flea-ridden cat had bolted into my room to hide and his fate was sealed and he would be my cat for the rest of his life.

This four-month old kitten was taken to a vet and given everything possible to do well in our home with our other cat. My grandfather assisted in naming him Euro from a comic that he had sent us a year before about our next cat.

For the next 11 years, Euro would be the most unique and strange cat we ever have, or will, have again. He would announce himself when he entered a room and never liked new people, especially men. He was terrified of the outside he had been found in and never left the house.

The Hard Part

A few days ago, Euro began showing signs that something was very wrong, but we had no idea how wrong. He had thrown up and was struggling to move around. We thought he had the flu or something simple..we were very wrong.

2 days later, my mother had a vet appointment set up, but we didn’t want to wait any longer and went to a vet hospital. The news was heartbreaking. He had a urinary blockage that had spread toxins throughout his body and he was in unbearable pain and couldn’t continue going on the way he was.

Our options were either to treat him, with a very low chance of any quality of life or humanely put him to sleep. Doing anything other than one of those options would have been putting him through more misery. We decided that putting him through anything more with no good outcome would be worse and decided to let him go and get rid of his pain.

We, meaning me, my mother, and my sister, each held him before my mom returned him to me. The vet sedated him and then finally put him at peace with me holding him in my arms for the last time.

When he was at peace, the vet put him in a bag that could be buried and gave us individual prints of his paw prints to keep forever.


He was the most unique cat I’ve ever had and wouldn’t have traded any of it for the world even knowing how it had to unfortunately end. I will never forget all of his quirks that made him special to all of us or the annoying things he always did.

I’m forever grateful that I got to be there at the end and be the one to hold him one last time.